Solace

After writing the first blog entry for the 6 Gap Century accident I’m still thinking about Daniella Izquierdo perhaps because I spent a lot of time reflecting on my accident September 9, 2007 and how I believe the Lord gave me solace in the time of distress and discouragement.

I set out that morning with complete confidence and perhaps a little too much to be honest to face Burnt Mountain. After the 10 mile climb up to the top of the mountain our group normally regroups and to make sure everyone is okay and so that we will not get too far ahead of each other. This day I pushed the envelope a little more racing a couple of friends and I had just passed one friend as I approached a turn at 43 miles per hour. I was thinking ahead as I was setting up to take a certain line around the curve. I thought I had the right line of approach, but at the speed that I was going there is only so much a bike with highly inflated 23 mm tires is able to turn. The surface of a tire touching the roadway is small and only fractions of an inch of rubber are actually guiding that bike and rider around the turn. If you commit to the wrong line at too great a speed there is little you can do about it and that was my case. Using your brakes this late can be just as catastrophic. If one is going to feather their brakes it is to slow the bike down before getting to the curve and not use the brakes in the curve. All of the thinking and commitment for making the right decision comes before the turn. As I came around the turn the road switched back the other direction rather than being a sweeping turn that I had thought. My bike was committed to a straight line and the only choice I had to keep from hitting a tree at 40 mph was to lock up my brakes and intentionally throw myself. The result was going head over the bars. First, the back of my helmet hit the pavement, which was good in one perspective because it was at the thickest part of the helmet. Then the back of my left shoulder hit ripping out a chunk skin and separating my shoulder. From that point forward the pavement ground off skin from my backside, arms and hands. The bike was mostly in tact, but the rear wheel was badly damaged. My cycling clothes were ripped apart and my helmet was split.

Shaken up pretty bad my adrenaline masked most of the pain while my friends tried to fix the bike enough that I could get back to the top of the mountain and wait for one of them to pick me up. As they left me to go back for the car, I struggled back to the top of the summit with the back of my shorts torn out and my bleeding rump exposed to the traffic. The pain was starting to set in, but here is the crux of this message. I started feeling extreme guilt and discouragement. My mind was racing on one side thinking about what went wrong and then there was the guilt of being so reckless with the body God has given me to use in this life. As I sat on the side of the road I started praying and asking God to forgive me for being so stupid. There was so much going on in my mind at that moment it just made the whole situation worse, but in the midst of all this and praying I felt a peace and comfort as if God was there with me. I felt this in my inner heart of perhaps the Lord pressing on me relief from the guilt. Yes it was a mistake, but we make mistakes in life. God is not surprised by these choices nor is He surprised if the mistake takes us into eternity. The peace that came over me at that moment gave me the feeling that He was sitting there with me on the side of the road until Edgar showed up. The physical pain was starting to become more prevalent, but the spiritual and mental pressure was relieved by what I felt that God was with me providing me with solace. To me the Lord is my peace that passes all understanding. He is the solace in any situation when we ask Him to be with us. He is the one who gives us faith to continue on facing the challenges on the road ahead.

Despite the severity of my crash I believe God also gave me a peace about continuing to cycle. Hearing about Daniella or anyone that has such a severe cycling injury does impact me greatly because I experienced such a severe accident myself. My friends and family that don’t participate in cycling did not and still do not always comprehend making such choices, but most have come to accept that it is a pleasure for me that they would not want to take away.

It must have been a great pleasure for Daniella to be a cyclist. It is for many of us.